Children Are to be Seen and Heard: Sandusky, Satan & the Devil Within

by
dominique DiPrima

Many of us breathed a sigh of relief when we found out former Penn State Assistant Football Coach Jerry Sandusky was found guilty of 45 counts of sexually abusing 10 boys over 15 years. There is some comfort in knowing that the 68-year-old will likely spend the rest of his life behind bars. And it is impressive to watch a powerful, once untouchable predator brought to justice.

Of course it is not over. There will be an appeal. There will be civil suits. There is an ongoing FBI investigation. And one hopes, the possible network of other pedophiles and their collaborators will be exposed and punished. Penn State is already moving to settle out of court with many of the victims who testified and some who did not, including Sandusky’s own adopted son, Matt.

Sandusky is a classic super villian, preying on society’s most vulnerable – low-income children (surely many of the victims are Black or Brown.) It just doesn’t get much sleazier – using a charity for foster children to get close to young targets. He is easy to hate, and to dismiss. And while he is every parents nightmare – a coach or authority figure who gains our children’s trust and then violates them – his status as an “outsider” makes it easy for us not to look at this threat as thoroughly as we must. We have to resist the notion that attacks on our children only happen “over there,” “elsewhere,” or “in certain communities.”

The fact is, most sexual predators are people the children know and trust, often members of their own families. That means we have to be mindful even, – no especially – with family and friends. There is a saying that “children should be seen and not heard.” I believe that philosophy needs to go the way of the Skypager. Toss it! It is outdated at best, and possibly dangerous. If our children tell us Uncle So-and-So gives them the creeps, we must listen! If they don’t want to hug and kiss this or that friend or relative, let’s not insist. Maybe a handshake or a wave and a polite “hello” will do. Let’s not teach them to override their own gut instincts out of a sense of obligation…And let’s do our best not to put them in harms way no matter how awful it feels to second-guess our loved ones.

We have to scrutinize every coach, teacher, babysitter, scout leader or camp counselor who is going to be spending much time with our kids. We have to show up. Go to the practices, the meetings, show up unannounced, check in, check it out! We must not allow ourselves to be intimidated, or too busy. We have got to overcome the conditioned response that the man or woman with the degree/uniform/title/whistle has more knowledge of our children or more authority over them than we do!

A moment’s inconvenience for us, or the possible hurt feelings of a friend or relative is a small price to pay for the safety of our beloved children! That moment we are “caught slipping” is a moment we can never get back. The damage is done. And the impact on the child, for the rest of their life, is serious and far-reaching.

So yes, I am celebrating the Sandusky verdict! I hope they put him under the jail! And I hope they follow up on every cover-up, co-conspirator or slimy pedophile in the whole chain of events. (IE I remember an early CNN article stating that Sandusky’s charity, The Second Mile, may have been supplying children to other pedophiles – but I never heard anything about it again. Dick Gregory says there is a vast national network of abusers in high places.) I am celebrating, but I am not letting myself or my community off the hook. We must do all we can to stop turning a deaf ear and sweeping shame under the carpet. We must cast out not only Sandusky, and Satan, but the Devil within!