Why I’m Grateful to Mitt Romney:

We Love You Just the Way You Are!

by Dominique DiPrima

You gotta love Mitt Romney! For all of his stiffness and two dimensional qualities, the man is happy to tell you who he is – for real! And I for one, am grateful!

Not all Republicans are so forthcoming. I could see how folks might have been a bit confused by George W. Bush. Although we knew from reading his background, that he was the privileged son of a super-wealthy former president. The folksy Texas accent and “gee-whiz-let’s-go-have-a beer” expression could truly throw you for a loop. Most people really believed he was a Texas rancher who slogged his way through public schools (What – Yale? Are you serious?!!)

And while we knew that Sarah Palin was governor of a state, former beauty queen and a power Nordstroms shopper, the combination of bad grammar and a down to earth Mommy-vibe fooled a lot of us into believing she really was just a pitbull with lipstick. She worked overtime to exude regular-old-American energy…And lots of us bought it.

Oh and the list goes on! Here in California we had the moderate-movie-star model republican…And, well, we can hardly be angry with ourselves if Arnold fooled us. He fooled Maria too, and she’s pretty darn smart.

But not Mitt! He’s as honest as a boy scout, even if he does’t mean to be. He might not make it as an actor, but there’s something to be said for owning up to your stuff…even if you can’t remember what it is!

This is a man who has said and I quote “I’m not concerned about the very poor…” In case you were wondering how he felt, ask no further, Mitt is an open book. About the difficulties of students in a rough economy he suggested they “borrow money from your parents.” Thank you Mitt for letting us know how you made it and exactly what your economic plan is for the starving student and perhaps America. In the midst of almost unprecedented unemployment he was brave enough to say “I like to be able to fire people.” Such honesty is truly commendable.

Perhaps most shocking, so far, when confronted with a story of how, in high school, he led a group of fellow bullies to beat up and forcibly cut the hair a student they deemed too weird (& effeminate?) he courageously declared – “I don’t remember.” Much has been made of whether it is fair to hold the man accountable for what he did in high school And I for one, believe that we all do stupid stuff as teens and should get a pass. But what troubles me here is precisely that he doesn’t remember! He doesn’t remember! That means he either gave a beat down and a haircut so often that it was not remarkable, he’s suffering from memory loss that sometimes comes with advanced years (or too much hairspray,) or he’s lying! The fact that he was not punished is also telling. He is used to trespassing on the boundaries of those less powerful with impunity. He doesn’t remember.
As I ponder these and other astonishing facts about the popular, “good-looking,” wildly wealthy son of a former governor, I am grateful. Thank you Mitt, for telling us exactly who you are, and who you’ll look out for. Thank you for making it clear that the rest of us can expect a haircut – literal or figurative – and a beat down. Thank you for not being a poser, for being honest about your car elevator and your overseas bank account. Thank you for sharing with us the cavalier way you strapped your family dog to the roof of the car. Thank you for bluntly confessing that you plan to “get rid” of Planned Parenthood and with it basic women’s health services for thousands of low income women. Thank you for admitting you haven’t had a job in decades and yet you are still raking in the big bucks…For this and so much more I will always be grateful to you Mr. Romney…Now…if we could only see the rest of those tax returns…